Maimonides' Mishneh Torah (Hilchot Teshuvah) systematises teshuvah in four steps: (1) Hakarat ha-chet — recognising the act as wrong; (2) Charatah — genuine regret; (3) Viduy — verbal confession (to God, sometimes via liturgy, occasionally to a rabbi for guidance); (4) Kabbalah le-atid — sincere resolve not to repeat. For interpersonal harm, Maimonides adds a fifth element: direct reconciliation with the wronged party, including restitution where possible.
The annual cycle
Judaism builds annual teshuvah into the liturgical year. The month of Elul (preceding Rosh Hashanah) is traditionally dedicated to teshuvah preparation. The Days of Awe (Yamim Noraim) from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur (10 days) are the central reconciliation period. The Al Chet ("For the sin of...") prayer recited 14+ times during Yom Kippur services lists categories of sin — including specifically sexual sins — providing structured liturgical framework.
Public vs private confession
Jewish tradition has both public-liturgical confession (the Yom Kippur Al Chet recited collectively) and private confession (to God in personal prayer, occasionally to a rabbi for guidance). Unlike Catholic confession, the private form has no clergy-mediation requirement. Some practicing Jews seek rabbinic counsel for specific situations; others handle the question privately.
The teshuvah-of-Yom-Kippur insufficient for interpersonal harm
The rabbinic tradition emphasises that Yom Kippur atones for sins between people and God, but not for sins between person and person — those require direct reconciliation with the wronged party. This is theologically significant for adult-tourism reflection: if the framework identifies an exploited worker as the wronged party, the teshuvah is incomplete without that direct dimension. Where direct reconciliation isn't possible, the tradition treats sincere intent to reconcile if possible as sufficient.
The complete teshuvah test
Maimonides defines complete teshuvah as: facing the same temptation under the same circumstances, and choosing differently. Mere stopping is incomplete; the test is whether the changed conduct holds when the original temptation recurs. This framework is demanding but also generative — it provides a long-term measure of whether the reconciliation has produced actual change.
Resources for practising adherents
Standard works: Maimonides' Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Teshuvah (available in many translations); Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik's "On Repentance" (1980); Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz's essays. Standard liturgical resources: the Yom Kippur machzor (prayer book) of your synagogue's tradition. Rabbinic counsel: most rabbis welcome confidential pastoral conversations.
